I Heart Robyn Skodzinsky

This post is long overdue - and as some have pointed out any post is long overdue. But recently a very dear friend lost her mother and posting about Paris Hilton's recent lesbian sex video seemed shallow at such a time. So instead of such drivel I bring you, in no particular order:

10 Reasons I Love Robyn!

1. She is of Hungarian descent and her name has a Z in it.

2. She makes watching the Golden Girls feel cool.

3. She always knows where to find the best deal in town (and I have the 3$ shoes to prove it!).

4. Three words - Wrestling Naughty Nun

5. She usually understands what I am talking about when I say something strange and inappropriate.

6. She encourages my bad habits, candy & gossip....everyone needs a friend like that.

7. You can count on her for anything - and I mean anything, if you thought something was impossible she will find a way. (She is also my role model for 'getting things done!'; as I am quite the procrastinator and could never belong to an organization that had such a motto, but maybe to one that said "getting things done later!")

8. She introduced me to a classic song, the title of which includes the words "Little Grass Shack".

9. She does cool/weird things people should do but don't for some reason - like learn to play the Ukulele and the Accordion.

10. She has actually contributed to peace in the middle east by working here, which is more than the rest of us lazy bitches have done!

Romantic Hangover Day

February 15th - the day of the romantic hangover. Some people OD'ed - whether it was on sick dopey baby talk, Sex & the City dvds, or copious pints of Ben & Jerry. So y'all take two aspirin and think of ten caustic anti-love comments to get over it.

My V date wasn't as horrid as I had hoped. He remembered it was Valentines, like I was hoping he wouldn't, and brought me roses. But that was nice of him. And then he took me to this Moroccan place (as he is from Morocco). I liked hearing about Morocco and whatnot...and that made him more interesting, bumping him up to a 4 on the Interest Scale.

And now is over to the neighbor boy's house to watch Lost, which I love, followed by Project Runway, which I adore! The neighbor boy has one of those bachelor TVs that takes up the whole wall in the livingroom. Lost is best on bachelor boy TVs.

I Don't Heart Valentine's Day!

Okay, so maybe I do heart Valentines...sometimes. Other times I think it is pretty dumb. I like telling people I love that I love them, but I should do that more often than one day a year. And the supposed exclusivity of the holiday toward romantic love is just silly. I don't romantically love anybody at this point in time. In fact I may even take my sister's advice and quit dating all together (which she doesn't mean in a fatalistic way). Unfortunately I can't take that advice until tomorrow - at which time I will embrace it fully - because I have a "date" tonight that I am not too keen on with a Gentleman Who Scores a 2 On the Interest Scale (GWS2OIS). It was an accident that I even have this date! The conversation yesterday went a bit like this:

GWS2OIS: What are you doing next weekend?
K8: A lot actually. I am pretty busy with school projects and what not. (Which could be true.)
GWS2OIS: How about Thursday night?
K8: Oh, I have a group meeting for class that night. (True by the way.)
GWS2OIS: How about Wednesday?
K8: Yeah, a friend of mine is coming in to town from NYC and I am having dinner with him.
(Also coulda been true, but we rescheduled for Friday.)
GWS2OIS: What about dinner tomorrow?
K8: Gee...tomorrow? (Brainfreeze!)
GWS2OIS: Yeah, dinner tomorrow could be fun.
K8: I may have a homework assignment to do. (Realizing I am sounding lame.) But maybe as long as it isn't a late night dinner might be okay.
-Editor's Note- At this point it did not enter into my head at ALL that the night in question was Valentine's Day and he did not make mention of it.
GWS2OIS: Great, I will call you tomorrow to nail down a time.
K8: .....Um.....okay. Why not.

Initially I though, hey some free food...worse things could happen. And then, that evening, my darling friend KD so helpfully pointed out that it was Valentine's tomorrow and laughed at me when I cursed what I had done. Curses!

The Love & The Hate

Stories like this one make me believe in love. This woman is only three feet tall and she weighed less than forty pounds! A large dog weighs more than that. To top it off she is in a wheelchair and suffers from a brittle bone disease. And yet she has found a life partner (a nice looking one too in my opinion) and has procreated. In addition to his cuteness and fertility I am sure her husband does the bulk of the housework, seeing as she is not tall enough to reach the top of the washing machine. This is great! This is what love stories should look like. I am tired of stories with gorgeous ladies like Nicole Kidman. How hard is it to fall in love with her? I am not watching any more romantic comedies until one half of the movie couple is at least average looking.

But it isn't a boycott...not yet. I only have three established media boycotts. Most people who know me know of the first to, the third is more recent. But I will gladly list my boycott roster here for those who care to know.

1. Woody Allen - Because he has a daughterwife and that is disgusting. This boycott was started back when the world learned of his depravity, so it has been a while. My distaste was reaffirmed by a certain Mr. Nastypants in his 70th birthday interview with Vanity Fair. Not only did he say his marriage to his daughterwife "has a more paternal feel," which is creepy enough, but he said he has no regrets. Fine, don't regret falling in love...but have the decency to regret cheating on your long term partner with her own daughter who had seen you as a father figure for the past decade. EW.

2. Steven Seagal - Not only is he the lamest action hero in the universe, he is also a complete hypocrite. He claims to be a devout Buddhist and even donated a wad of money to his local chapter of Tibetans. For this he requested an honorary lama-ship, which was promptly denied by His Holiness. His Holiness reasoned that an exalted position such as that was not an option for one who made a career glorifying violence and has the stupidest male-ponytail ever. Well, I added that bit about the ponytail, but I feel confident that His Holiness shares my view on that issue.

3. Tom Cruise - He is obviously mentally ill and is diggin his own grave by bad mouthing those in the only profession that is trained to help him. I am offended by his casting dispersions on my field. I would be happy to debate the overdiagnosis of ADHD and the overmedication of our population. But I'll be damned if some scientology believein', couch jumpin', five foot tall freak is gonna call what I do a sham. He can tell it to the aliens that he believes populated the Earth.

So my boycotts don't really effect anyone but me. And maybe the friends I refuse to accompany to movies featuring any of the above. And it isn't hard to keep up the boycott seeing as SS has never made a quality film and TC jumped the shark one Mission Impossible ago, overrated pretty boy that he is.

And to wrap this all up I must give a shout out to T-Bone, who is turning the big 3-6 today! My lovely friend, you were the best sugar daddy a girl could've ever wanted and may you have happiness on this the day of your birth.

I Want One!

It is completely unfair for some random guy to get a restraining order against Paris Hilton, while the rest of us in the world have to continue tolerate her existence. Unfair I say! Unfair! I want one! Can't we at least get a retraining order against her for the US? We can pawn her off to an unsuspecting nation! It worked with Michael Jackson and Bahrain. But what masochistic country would take her?

On a personal note I have decided that the Chinese Year of the Dog is not gonna be my year. So far it has made me hate my email and my cell phone...only strange guys I am not that interested in/excited about use those things to communicate with me. While the guys (or in this case a guy) with whom you have a lovely Sunday afternoon drinkin' coffee, talking, and laughing apparently got all their fingers broken after they were unable to pay up an irresponsible SuperBowl bet....leaving them unable to dial phones and send emails. I am waiting for my smoke signal or singing telegram.

Super Sunday

The ladies and I hit the town last night, goin out around 10:30 - which some people falsely believe is bedtime, but untrue! All the good things happen after that hour. The newish place on 19th, the Science Club , was neat looking but the drinks coulda used some improvements. But, as I said, they are newish and possibly have yet to hit their stride. Then it was off to Cafe Citron for some salsa dancing, always a feat at that establishment due to the crowd. It was a very good time...but I am not allowed to say how good as my compatriots and I swore years ago - what happens at Cafe Citron stays at Cafe Citron. Suffice to say if you are looking to drink, dance, and meet exotic men it is the place to go. A lovely Moroccan man offered me Arabic lessons. And I accomplished all this and still managed to make it to bed by 4am.

But one doesn't need to go dancing in (on) bars to have a good time in DC. Just this Thursday past I attended a play that my companion for the evening called 'experimental theater.' That right there made me skeptical. When we arrived I figured out it was a solo play - meaning there was only one actor- and there were no props....so it was just gonna be this chick up on stage for a couple hours. I was again skeptical. The actress turned out to be the writer as well. She played approximately six individuals throughout the evening to tell the story of a low-income housing project in DC that was torn down, forcing the residents out of their homes. It actually turned out to be very interesting and I felt oh so socially responsible for attending such a thing (although as it was not my choice, my companion must take the credit). And now I am no longer skeptical about the play - I am jealous. The actress is my exact same age and she has already written and starred in a play to promote social justice. I do nothing on a regular basis to promote social justice. Maybe I should start the Social Justice League and fight social injustice whilst wearing a cape. Or better yet, maybe Tom and Serj will let me join the Axis of Justice!

All Filler, No Killer

So I understand from my brother (Puddles!) that I am allowed to just post crap on my blog that is completely uninteresting and formulaic! He says they are themes and memes. And we discovered that the likeliest reason they are called memes is that they are all about me, me! Logical, no? Of course if this is not the reason and you do know the reason, feel free to share it.

Here I go all about me. Me!

Four jobs I've had:
Blockbuster register gal
Neuroscience research assistant
ER x-ray assistant
Crazy person wrangler (Counselor)

Four movies I can watch over and over:
Legally Blonde
Raising Arizona
Goonies
Big Trouble In Little China

Four places I've lived:
Detroit, MI
Fairfax, VA
Ann Arbor, MI
Washington, DC

Four TV shows I love:
Lost
Project Runway
Simpsons
Scrubs

Four places I've vacationed:
Port Huron, MI (yay for Grandmas who live on lakes!)
The Continent (England, France, Spain, Germany, Italy, Czech, the Netherlands)
U.S. Virgin Islands (three times, so my bro & sis who've only been once can suck it)
Nags Head

Four of my favorite dishes:
chicken broccoli pot pies a la mumma
filet mignon
spicy tuna roll
soup!

Four sites I visit daily:
Yahoo! where i keep most of my email
What is happening outside where i keep the weather
Superficial Crap cause i like to be bitchy and gossipy
News cause they have the soduku online and they tell me what is happenin' and might be fun to do

Four places I'd rather be right now:
St. Thomas
Paris
in my bed
in Vince Vaughn's bed